I’d add that dating is easier for extroverted people which then increases your dating options which then increases the likelihood you’ll meet people you like, which increases your viewpoint of an abundant mindset (optimism) over a scarce mindset (pessimism). I’d be curious to see what the stats and research shows regarding the socialableness scale as it relates to abundance/scarcity in dating. I’d wager that introverts are more likely to fall into the negative, finding dating to be significantly harder, and extroverts the positive, seeing endless possibilities. And let’s not forget, our society conditions extroversion as the more “agreeable” trait.
Thank you for the comment, Maria! I hear that your comment is connecting three different concepts: degree of extraversion, optimism, and abundance. In my view, they are separated. Introverts can be very optimistic, while some of my extraverted friends have a negative outlook. Likewise, belief in the future success (what I call "optimism") doesn't have to come from or even with abundance.
I do think there might be something to your hunch about linking extraversion and abundance, though. People who connect easily with others would likely connect with more potential romantic partners, similar to buyers or job applicants.
Except that abundance doesn't necessarily beget success ("the goods are odd"). The common wisdom is that dating is "abundant" for single women in SF, and yet it sucks. Same with extroversion and abundance: imagine an extrovert in an empty room.
My aim with my work is to create the positive outlook in the hearts of San Franciscans before we all experience abundance.
I am an introverted man and dating is insanely difficult. It’s not even that I am shy but it’s way way more difficult without a social circle or enjoyment of group hobbies
There’s def truth in what you said about optimism. It’s not naivete; it’s energy. It’s what keeps people open instead of guarded, curious instead of cynical. San Francisco has this beautiful paradox - chaos and creativity, loneliness and potential - and your piece really captures that.
I also love how you back it up with data but still write from the heart. Dating (and life) here really does get better when you approach it with wonder instead of weariness. Excited to follow along, your perspective feels both grounded and hopeful, which is rare these days. 🌉 keep going!!
I’d add that dating is easier for extroverted people which then increases your dating options which then increases the likelihood you’ll meet people you like, which increases your viewpoint of an abundant mindset (optimism) over a scarce mindset (pessimism). I’d be curious to see what the stats and research shows regarding the socialableness scale as it relates to abundance/scarcity in dating. I’d wager that introverts are more likely to fall into the negative, finding dating to be significantly harder, and extroverts the positive, seeing endless possibilities. And let’s not forget, our society conditions extroversion as the more “agreeable” trait.
Thank you for the comment, Maria! I hear that your comment is connecting three different concepts: degree of extraversion, optimism, and abundance. In my view, they are separated. Introverts can be very optimistic, while some of my extraverted friends have a negative outlook. Likewise, belief in the future success (what I call "optimism") doesn't have to come from or even with abundance.
I do think there might be something to your hunch about linking extraversion and abundance, though. People who connect easily with others would likely connect with more potential romantic partners, similar to buyers or job applicants.
Except that abundance doesn't necessarily beget success ("the goods are odd"). The common wisdom is that dating is "abundant" for single women in SF, and yet it sucks. Same with extroversion and abundance: imagine an extrovert in an empty room.
My aim with my work is to create the positive outlook in the hearts of San Franciscans before we all experience abundance.
I am an introverted man and dating is insanely difficult. It’s not even that I am shy but it’s way way more difficult without a social circle or enjoyment of group hobbies
Refreshing read Paul! Love ur take!
There’s def truth in what you said about optimism. It’s not naivete; it’s energy. It’s what keeps people open instead of guarded, curious instead of cynical. San Francisco has this beautiful paradox - chaos and creativity, loneliness and potential - and your piece really captures that.
I also love how you back it up with data but still write from the heart. Dating (and life) here really does get better when you approach it with wonder instead of weariness. Excited to follow along, your perspective feels both grounded and hopeful, which is rare these days. 🌉 keep going!!